Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep

I had a fairly good day. I got my gift from Anh and my business class sang happy birthday for me. I even got the biggest feast after school before heading off to tutor.

I didn't have room in my bag and carried this by hand all day with people continuously asking me if they can open it.

Another thing to tick of my wishlist, floral blazer: tick*.

Have a lovely day all, I just wanted to show off my beautiful food and gift.

Become geisha

We don't become geisha because we want our lives to be happy; we become geisha because we have no choice.

And then I became aware of all the magnificent silk wrapped around my body, and had the feeling I might drown in beauty. At that moment, beauty itself struck me as a kind of painful melancholy. 

Geisha is always called beautiful even if she is not. 

Hopes are like hair ornaments. Girls want to wear too many of them. When they become old women they look silly wearing even one.

I was really compelled after reading Memoir of a Geisha. I've learnt so much about the art of Geisha and I no longer see them just as "sophisticated prostitutes". I wouldn't know about Geishas nowadays but the Geishas back in the story's time, lead such sad lives, though they made it appear like such a happy one. I couldn't help but get lost in the world of the character and imagined herself in her situation. I would not have the emotional capacity to survive such a cruel life, to be sold to an okiya, forced to be a slave, learn the art of Geisha because I have not the choice to walk away, spend a life time entertaining men without ever allowed to truly commit to one. It just all seem so unfair and yet their lives look so beautiful and flawless on the outside.


I did my best to minic the beauty of Geishas onto myself. I wore pajamas...and chopsticks. Hey, a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do. 


EDIT*

Forgot the outtakes:

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry

Last night was a slow to sleep one. I get them often which leaves me roaming the moonlit time carrying out my weird little hobbies. When I eventually go to bed it's not because I'm tired, it's because it's creeping in on morning and I have school or work the next day. 

Making gifs

Playing with my camera.

Making a ring.

Going through the booklets I got from careers evening. I went to all the design stations and came home with the biggest collection of booklets (and cute sample postcards and a pen). One of the course only required 9 months. 9 MONTHS. I couldn't help but think, "wow, is this what a career in designing is worth?" (to be fair, that course requires full time, 5 times a week and 4 hours a day). I still wouldn't want to stray far from designing though. I'm quite interesting in commercial/campaign work or magazine/editorial, but the idea of getting a job in that industry seems so slim. I will take my chances and if things go badly, you can find me at #256 box, under the bridge. One lady called me out and asked "design student?" and I nodded and she said, "oh I can just tell by your looks". Apparently, I dressed for the job guys (or dress like a design student...)! I was wearing a white blouse with a black pleated highwaisted skirt, black sheer stockings with scrunchy white socks, chunky heels and my hand-dandy stud increased white side bag. I thought it was quite simple because it displayed no colour but I got a few compliments that night, well it was aimed over all but I'm convince, an outfit makes or break your look. Countless times I have seen beautiful girls wearing god knows what and I would curse them for wasting such a face/body and ask god why I wasn't given it instead (it's the same when a gorgeous girl carry the personality of Satan's teenage sister). Blahdy blah, I jumped topics...

Cam whoring.

Practicing my handwriting with my new free pen. (Hard to believe I used to get pencil license in primary and now my handwriting just gets worse and worse)

Taking silly pics on my ipod.

Graphics homework.

More graphics.

And of course, reading. This book I'm reading really inspired me to play dress up, wait for the next post.

Moody and angry 24/7

Loves.

 

Many things piss me off lately. I don't go through a day without someone pissing me off. Lately, I hate boys. It's not in a 'they broke my heart' kind of way, NO, in a 'they are about as bitchy as girls' kind of way. 

First off, some boys need to fuck off my blog. The ones I never discuss my blog with (you know like "oh hey, you heard of my blog?/I just posted something new brah". If you have never directly told me you read my blog or I haven't talked to you about my blog, it's safe to say, you're not welcome here. Jesus mofo. This is like my escape, I blog out my emotions and generally aim at people who aren't from my school because it has less consequences. If you, yeah YOU, are just going to laugh at my problems (just like every other fucking problem in your life, and some of them are pretty stupid and plain retarded, I don't even judge you for it, okay maybe I do because I hate you for them but still...), you can gtfo. I understand this guy, didn't have a post directed at him before and only came on here because a mate had asked him too but to laugh at my problems? Well I hope all the problems you yourself ignore will pile up so high that one day they will collapse on you and you'll be left in the rubble while I, Seryna, will in return, laugh at you. I don't even like this guy to begin with, for quite a long time now (not bird boy in the previous post, my hate for him has been newly developed) and to have him on my blog makes me shiver with disgust. 

You know what else? People who hog balls. Okay we get it, you're a great player but I donno if you've noticed, there are actually arh-der-play-erhs-on-da-field. Kobe of fucking hockey? (At least we won 3-2)

Okay, that's two things that pissed me off today. I posted 3 pretty personal posts lately, not usually my style but I'm beginning to think of my blog more as MY blog. I don't blog to please people, it would be great if I did but you don't like what you see, just leave, m'kay? I would never post super personally stuff (family/boyfriend/best friends) on here because well...who would immortalise something like that? But angry posts? You can have a piece of my mind if you choose to trespass on my blog.

Okay I think this will be the last personal post for a while, I don't want to fall into a habit of it, I'm just very moody these days. If only people were less frustrating. 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

I hope he sees this post because if my obvious avoiding him at all time (after recent problems were I cannot tolerate him anymore) doesn't make it clear that I hate him, then fuck, here's the a b c to it.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't

I went on an early birthday outing today to celebrate Shiv's and my birthday. Next week, our actual birthdays, I'm completely booked, my life is actually pretty busy this month, for once (in yo face trash, we go out as often as each other now).

 My camera wouldn't focus. I kept taking picture of random thins until it would focus. Oh hi legs. You see what I did there? I wore a skirt with hearts, isn't it the cutest and perfect for the occasion?

 I don't know why, but my smile looks really big in this picture. 

Shiv's present from me (:

I bought him the first bracelet and made the other two.

 The food arrived while Abi and Justin got the drinks.

 Justin: What is this knife and fork you speak of?

My present from Shiv *ticks of wishlist. This has been on my wishlist for so long but I was way too stingey to buy myself one. At the beginning of the year he had me for advise to buy his "cousin" a present. He thought a pink varsity looked nice but I insisted his cousin would like a navy one better. I knew it was coming (giggles) and so I might as well let him know the colour I prefer.

From Abi and Justin *ticks of wishlist. They were asking me about books (Abi knows I'm into Mortal Instruments and is starting it himself) and I had no idea they were actually going to buy me a present, it was quite the shock, they're the sweetest. Best friends: Shiv really know how to pick 'em.

From Daisy <3

From Daisy again *ticks of wishlist

I went back to Daisy's house afterwards and her nephew was there. I love the little Harris, he's the type of baby that never cries and laughs at anything (Daisy continuously threw a soft ball at his face and he would laugh every time). He loves it when you pick him up and hold him high then quick bring him down, he's let you know by smiling and bouncing up and down with excitement. He's probably the only baby that's even cute when he pokes (which he did once, luckily before I started playing with him). Daisy kept saying how surprised she was about me being so a good with a baby because I always tell people I hate babies and kids. I do, I really do hate their guts out but some among them, the babies that never cry and toddlers that are clever, I love them to bits to make up for the hate I radiate of for the others. I swear I've never been entertained by a baby for so long, I've seen a few other babies that rarely cried before but they're usually not friendly, this one, never cries and is friendly. He's just the cutest and Daisy reckons he loves me too and so I'm pretty happy about that.

He has a habit for eating everything in sight. Oh a tennis ball? Don't you mean delicious yellow circle? 

Are you gonna eat that?

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

Today has probably been the most unproductive day. I sat in math doing nothing...unless you count taking silly pictures with Emily something.

Science was even worse. I sat there drawing on my book, not doing much. Not to mention that my science class contains people born from Satan's butt hole or something of the likes. They are so disrespectful towards the teacher. I mean if you don't want to learn, that's fine, don't learn quietly and give others the opportunity. They are so disruptive, breaking everyone's concentration, even in tests. I don't see why the teacher even tolerates them. If you don't wanna learn, be my guest but just because you aspire to be a janitor when you grow up, doesn't mean you have to make distasteful screeching and/or moaning sounds in class. It's not clever, no one's gonna give you a pat on the back but maybe they might give you a cv for Burger King. Fuck, they frustrate me so bloody much and I know they are trying to unnerve the teacher. No one has said anything to them but pretty much everyone in the class think they're screeking peacocks that you just wanna choke, with their own feathers. Two classes back, I loudly said, "do they ever shut up" because I just couldn't take it anymore and figure no one else was gonna do anything. They were probably too busy licking their own balls after saying something they thought to be "funny" and didn't hear me.

Today, I decided to direct the message right at them. Probably not a smart move because they're quite popular but being popular doesn't make it okay to be fucking annoying. After he siren out his punch-me-in-the-face-please noise, I rudely said something like "CAN YOU SHUT UP??!". I was probably the last person he expected to say that and didn't know how to respond and so he shamelessly let out one last pathetic siren (it was like he didn't even try because I'll give him props for the last few ERRRRRRGGHH's because they had such passion to them) before staying quiet for the session. Next week will just be the same but at least now he's some what get an idea of HOW FUCKING ANNOYING him and his mates are.

If he should chance by this post through gossip (I know a few readers of my blog from my school, whom are friends with him, so it wouldn't surprise me), I don't even care ay because YOLO. Hi, this is what I think of you and if you continue to waste my time, I hope your efforts are worth wild because I can easily ignore you like I have for the past months. Today, I just thought you should get some kind of feedback. I mean, isn't that what you're craving since you're trying so bloody hard?

I never really spoke out before and I guess that's why I usually get along with people but man does it feel good to voice my opinion after years of not doing so. I'm starting to nowadays. I don't ever plan on going all out and telling people on the streets that their crocs are ugly (I mean they should know already) but once in a while, I'd like too.

I don't care if I get hate for hating him, because if hating a dumbass is wrong, I don't want to be right.

My work of art during science + Fee's hand playing with my donut rubber.

Don't want to take a picture? I bet your arm does.

Walking home.

Casually taking pictures in Daisy's new house.

Minnie <3 (they're Daisy's)

Maysilee Donner's pin

 Gradient nails!

A chubby sparrow was underneath a table in the caf in the morning. We got pretty close and it stayed right there.

I was bored in business class a few days back because we were doing accounting. I took this picture and forgot my ipod makes a sound when  the camera is used, twas awkward.

This was my hair today. You can see Mika's hand caressing my cheeks.

I feel like this post has been lazily done but I really can't be bothered...Holy Musical B@man here I come.